I fought them today. And I won. Here's a breakdown of the 1hr., 3min., 25sec. conversation:
(After giving her my name and account information.)
"Thank you for calling DirecTV. How may I assist you?"
"We're in the process of moving into a bigger home and I would like to order 2 more receivers. Is there a fee for ordering them?"
"They start at $69.99 for the standard receiver and go up to $199.99 for the blablabla." (I stopped listening.)
"Well, that's all I needed to know. I think I'll just switch companies. How much would it cost to just go ahead and terminate my service plan?"
"Actually, you qualify for our best deal, Ms. Spivey.We can sell you the first receiver for $49.99 and the second for our advertised price of $69.99 and installation is only $49.99."
"And how much did you say it will cost to terminate my service plan?"
"Well, it's $20 per month remaining on your contract, which is 13 months. It would be $260. It has to be paid all at once if you terminate. You're also responsible for returning the equipment you have now if you terminate. May I ask which company you're thinking about switching to?"
"Comcast has extended us an irresistible offer of up to 5 receivers at no cost to us, plus free Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax for 3 months since we're new to the area. Installation is free, too. We're in the process of moving in right now."
"DirecTV was recently rated #1 for picture quality and Comcast was rated last. They're also being sued by blablabla for blablabla... You've been a loyal customer for the past year and we appreciate your business. We don't want to see you go here at DirecTV."
"For me, if your company is going to charge me for the extra equipment, charge me to have it installed, charge me per month to rent the extra receivers, and charge me to terminate my contract if I find a better deal... I'm sorry, but right now, Comcast still seems like the better deal. They're not going to charge to set it up, nor are they going to charge me an arm and a leg just to rent the equipment. The only reason I tried to see what kind of deals you had is because we've been so-called "loyal customers" for the past year and our new house is already wired for DirecTV. I guess I should just go ahead and terminate my service contract. Can you do that over the phone? Or do I need to speak to a supervisor?"
"Please hold, ma'am."
*Holding*
"Ms. Spivey, I can get you the first receiver at no cost to you and the second one at the reduced price of $49.99. Unfortunately, the installation fee is still $49.99."
"Unfortunately, Comcast still sounds better. As a "loyal customer," you're telling me that's the best deal you can offer me?"
"Ma'am, I cannot waive the installation fee. I'm already giving you a free receiver and the second at a discounted price that you qualify for."
"This is ridiculous. I don't know why we're still talking about deals. How much did you say it was to just go ahead and terminate my contract? I have things I need to do today."
"Hold on one second. My computer's being slow. Bear with me, Ms. Spivey."
"Look, I know you're doing your job. Can you transfer me to a supervisor? This has been quite an unpleasant experience for me. We're in the middle of moving into our new home, and this is stressing me out. I'm just trying to cancel my plan and you're jerking me around with crappy deals compared to Comcast's offer. And is it even any of your business about which company I'm thinking about switching to anyway!?"
"Ms. Spivey, I am sorry. Please hold for one more moment and I will see if we can get a better deal for you."
*Holding*
"Thank you for holding, ma'am. I spoke with my supervisor and we can give you 2 receivers at no cost to you. We're waiving the installation fee of $49.99 also. You will be charged $6 per receiver per month on your bill and it will, however, extend your contract another 2 years."
"I'm not extending my contract with you guys. I'd like to speak to your supervisor, please."
"Ma'am, this is our best offer. We're already waiving the cost for both the receivers as well as the installation fee, Ms. Spivey."
"Oh, I understand all that. I know you're just doing your job, but your deal doesn't even compete with Comcast, especially if it's going to extend my contract another 2 years. It'd just be cheaper to go ahead and cancel my contract. So, who do I need to speak to, or are you going to yank me around until I change my mind?"
"Ma'am, you're a valued customer, and-"
"And as a 'valued customer,' I'd like to be treated like one."
"Certainly, and we here at DirecTV want you to have the best picture quality and service only we can offer. If you'll just hold again for a moment, I'm going to speak to my supervisor to see how we can further assist you in this matter."
"Alright. Thank you."
"Hello, Ms. Spivey. This is Jeff. I'm the supervisor you asked to speak with. What seems to be the issue today?"
"Hello, Jeff. I've been asking to speak to you for over half an hour. We're in the process of moving into a new home and Comcast has offered us a great deal on receivers for the whole house at no charge, installed for free. We've been loyal customers for the past year or so and still have 13 months on our contract."
"We certainly appreciate your business with us for the past year, Ms. Spivey."
"Your customer service rep keeps offering me somewhat-appealing deals, but I'm not about to extend our contract another 2 years. That will be 3 years total left, and I have no desire to stay with your company any longer than I have to. Why wasn't my contract going to have to be extended before if I agreed to pay for the receivers?"
"Well, ma'am-"
"You know what? I don't care. I think we're just going to cancel our plan and pay the termination fee. What was it? Like $260?"
"Ms. Spivey, DirecTV offers the best in picture quality available in the United States. We were rated #1 in-"
"I'm not interested in your ratings, Jeff. I already heard all of that! Right now, I'd rate your company extremely poorly in customer service. I know you're just doing your job, but here's my point of view: Comcast is offering us a better deal with no hidden fees and no bullshit. We're literally in the process of moving into a new home that's already wired for DirecTV. Money-wise, it's cheaper to just cut ties with you and go with them. What would you do, Jeff? I know what I'm going to do... I maintain a blog online and will definitely be writing about this experience. It's ridiculous! We've been on the phone for almost an hour already."
"We want to keep you as a loyal customer and aim to please. I'm going to waive the 2 year extension on your contract. That's the best we can do. The 2 standard $69.99 receivers will be at no cost to you, and the installation fee of $49.99 is waived. The only thing I cannot waive, however, is the charge of an additional $6 per receiver, per month for equipment rental."
"That sounds like a better deal, and I'll take it if I can have them installed tomorrow morning."
"Please hold so I can look at the schedule of available appointments."
"That's fine."
*Holding*
"We have one for between 8-12 and one for 12-4. Which is good for you?"
"8-12 works just fine."
"Thank you for your business."
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